Subscribe to The Expater via Email

Hey fellow Expaters! Enter your email address for useful expat essentials, as well as the latest on my surreal expat life and fun times. Currently based in Santiago, Chile.

‘Your Wife is Dead? Hoorah!’ And Other Language Mix Ups

Language mix ups have cost me dear; from incorrect food orders, to foot in mouth insensitivity and even a date with the wrong guy. On my first French exchange aged twelve the family asked me what food I liked. I got my vocab muddled and was presented with a tray of unidentifiable shellfish, sea demons and other slimy monsters which I didn’t even…
View Post
Share this post:

Home Not So Sweet Home

You’ve lived abroad for years now. You can just about get by in the lingo but you tire of speaking caveman. ‘Hello. Me from Britain. You come from? To meet you nice’. In any case your kid still corrects your accent. You’re fed up of the bureaucracy, the weather and the shortage of decent lattes within a 100/1000/5000 km radius. And now, finally, it’s…
View Post
Share this post:

Is This The Loveliest Hotel in the World?

My mum takes a pragmatic approach to life (seating plans for lunch, precisely ironed teatowels, travel planner journals). The same pragmatism applies to death. She’s updated the will (Rolex for me, dog for my brother… score!), planned the Rolling Stones elegy (‘Mick Jagger will never die, darling!‘) and chosen her place of rest. Apparently she will be spending her final days at the Beau-Rivage Palace…
View Post
Share this post:

Love Speaks Louder Than Words

Recently I wrote a post about my fears for a dear friend in Syria. Today, after encouragement from a friend I tried calling her again. The phone rang and rang. My heart beat faster and I began to wonder. The phone clicked and there was a pause. And then, finally, ‘nam?!’ The fabulously curt reply was a sharp ‘I’m busy, who…
View Post
Share this post:

Dear Dlall… A Letter to my friend in Syria

Dear Dlall I hope you are well. I hope you are safe. I hope you are snuggled by the boiler roasting potatoes as you showed me one winter. I hope you are laughing, clapping your hands with delight, your joy bursting out into the open like a firework. But this is not what I imagine when I see Syria. Times have changed for sure. But enough…
View Post
Share this post:

Looking for Something?